Top 11 great quotes from movie Napoleon Dynamite
This movie is quite possibly the funniest movie ever. It doesn't have much of a storyline, but in this case, it doesn't matter. I keep reading reviews that say it isn't believable. Anyone who has attended High School in the last 10 years knows that this movie portrays exactly what it is like. Who doesn't know someone exactly like Napoleon? Or Pedro? Or Summer? Or Deb? Or Don? There are Napoleons, Pedros, Summers, Debs, and Dons in EVERY American High School. One of the funniest parts about this movie is that it IS so accurate. And who hasn't run across an internet geek like Kip? This movie is filled with jokes about our culture today. I haven't met one person yet who has seen it and not liked it. Talk about a cult classic in the making. The film uses witty humor, and a little goofy humor. It's the PERFECT film for light comedy. If you're into those kind of films that make you think a lot, this one definitely isn't for you. On the other hand, if you laugh at things like Napoleon getting psyched for a milk-testing contest, or lying about hunting wolverines in Alaska, exaggerating about his bow staff skills or his brother bragging about chatting online with "babes" all day, you can't go wrong.
[Kip is singing to Lafawnduh after they are pronounced husband and wife]
Kip: Why do you love me? Why do you need me? Always and forever… We met in a chatroom, now our love can fully bloom… Sure the world wide web is great, but you, you make my salivate… I love echnology, but not as much as you, you see… But I STILL love technology… Always and forever. Our love is like a flock of doves, flying up to heaven above… always and forever, always and forever… Why do you need me? Why do you love me? Always and forever…
Napoleon Dynamite: Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip.
Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
Napoleon Dynamite: Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
Kip: Try and hit me, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: What?
Kip: I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.
Kip: I'm just really trying to raise a few bucks now so I can bring her out for a few days.
Uncle Rico: Yeah, well what does she look like?
Kip: She's uh… she's got sandy blonde hair. She's uh… pretty good looking face, but I'm just getting really… just kinda TO'd because… I mean she hasn't even sent me a full body shot yet.
Uncle Rico: I wish you wouldn't look at me like that, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: I wish you'd get out of my life and shut up!
Uncle Rico: I'm gonna tell you somethin' right now. While you're out there playing patty cake with your friend Pedro, your Uncle Rico is makin' 120 bucks.
[pulls a check out of his shirt pocket]
Napoleon Dynamite: I could make that much money in five seconds!
Kip: Geez. Yeah right, Napoleon. I made, like, 75 bucks today.
Uncle Rico: Napoleon, it's looks like you don't have a job. So why don't you get out there and feed Tina.
Napoleon Dynamite: Why don't you go eat a decroded piece of crap!
Well, nobody's gonna go out with me
It'd be nice if you could pull me into town.
Napoleon Dynamite: Well, nobody's going to go out with *me*!
Pedro: Have you asked anybody yet?
Napoleon Dynamite: No, but who would? I don't even have any good skills.
Pedro: What do you mean?
Napoleon Dynamite: You know, like nunchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills… Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.
Pedro: Aren't you pretty good at drawing, like animals and warriors and stuff?
Napoleon Dynamite: Yes… probably the best that I know of.
Pedro: Just draw a picture of the girl you want to take out… and give it to her for like a gift or something.
Napoleon Dynamite: That's a pretty good idea.
Teacher: Your current event, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: Last week, Japanese scientists explaced… placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Cort Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.
Napoleon Dynamite: Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!… Tina, eat. Food. Eat the FOOD!
Uncle Rico: What about your girlfriend?
Kip: Well, things are getting pretty serious right now. I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day so I guess you could say things are gettin' pretty serious.
Rex: At Rex Kwan Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times. Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here?
[points to Kip]
Rex: Take a look at what I'm wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it!