Tag Archive: Bad Santa quotes

[Willie has just passed out] Gin: Look here, get himy outta here and I'll go smooth things over with Chipeska, Tell him it was food poisoning or something. Marcus: What do you mean, get him outta here? Gin: Take him…
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Kid: Your beard's not real. Willie: No Shit!It was real, but I got sick and all the hair fell out. Kid: How come? Willie: I loved a woman who wasn't clean. Kid: Mrs. Santa? Willie: No it was her sister….
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Woman in Food Court: Look who's here! It's Santa! Tell Santa what you want for Christmas! Willie: [yelling] I'm on my fucking lunch break, OK? Woman in Food Court: The manager's going to hear about this. Willie: You think you're…
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Let me give you some news. I'm not Santa Claus, all right? I know there's no Santa. I just thought maybe you'd want to give me a present 'cause we're friends. Bad Santa quotes

Sue: Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Bad Santa quotes

Kid: Should I fix you some sandwiches? Willie: I don't want any fucking sandwiches. What is it with you and fixin' fucking sandwiches? Bad Santa quotes

Kid: You are really Santa, right? Willie: No, I'm an accountant. I wear this fucking thing as a fashion statement, alright? Bad Santa quotes

Marcus: You're an emotional fucking cripple. Your soul is dog shit. Every single fucking thing about you is ugly. Bad Santa quotes

Kid: Why do you need a car? Willie: What the fuck are you talking about? Kid: This car. Willie: Which turn is it? Kid: Sage Terrace. Where's your sleigh? Willie: It's in the shop, getting repaired. Kid: Where are the…
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