Stainer: Okay, anyway… I love Kirky, but let's face it, the guy's a five.
Devon: Stainer, that's just a dirty pool. He's at least a six.
Stainer: A six? Alright you go ahead and pump rainbows into his asshole. I'm just being honest.
Jack: Come on, cut him some slack. Look. Half a point cause he's a nice guy. Right? And he's funny, so that's half a point each. That brings him to six. Devon's right.
Stainer: But he drives a shitbox, deduct a point. Take a point off.
Kirk: Wait, what's wrong with my Neon?
Stainer: Oh, I don't know, except the people who make that car don't even like it. So, we're back to a five.
Stainer: Meanwhile, this Molly, is a hard ten. And that five point disparity, that's a chasm. Chasm? Chasm. You can't jump more than two points.
Kirk: Where do you get this shit?
Stainer: Trust me, Kirk. I can't even get a ten.
Jack: [chuckles] Oh. Not even you, huh?
Stainer: I'm a six! OK?
Jack: Bullshit, you're a six. Then what am I?
Stainer: You're an eight.
Jack: OK, you're a six then.
Stainer: But I get a one point bump cause I'm in a band.
Kirk: Stainer, you're in a Hall and Oats cover band. I'm pretty sure that's a deduction.
Stainer: Adult Education is a tribute band. So that puts me back at seven. On a good day, the best I can bag is a nine.
Kirk: What about your crappy car?
Stainer: Artist's exemption. I'm expected to have a shitty car.
Jack: Is there an artist exemption for talking out your ass?
Stainer: Yeah, it's called being a rock star, Jack! Look it up in the dictionary. It's right next to "fuck you!"
Devon: I think this system's ridiculous. All right? If someone really loves you, then you are a ten.
Jack: My God. What are you… Are you Hannah Montanna? Because nothing you are saying right now is of any help to Kirk.
She's Out of My League quotes