I told it to a therapist about eight thousand times

[at Schmidt’s parents house, we see they have pictures of Schmidt from when he was young, all over their living room wall]
Schmidt: Guys, can we…can we get rid of this stuff? I mean, it looks like I died in a car crash and you guys haven't moved on.
David Schmidt: If we take it down, we have to stop bragging about you.
[pointing the picture of himself when he was young posing naked]
Schmidt: I look like Fred Savage from The Wonder Years! But completely naked wearing Indian friendship bracelets.
David Schmidt: That is a great picture, Morton.
Annie Schmidt: Mmhmm.
Jenko: You look like a young Jay Leno.
Schmidt: Am I even wearing underwear in this picture?
Annie Schmidt: Um…
Schmidt: No! I remember! You know why? Because I told it to a therapist about eight thousand times!
[Jenko starts to crack up, Schmidt points to a medal] 
Schmidt: I mean this is a fourth grade participation medal for soccer. It's literally a medal for sucking!
Annie Schmidt: Now! Now!
David Schmidt: That is a medal for trying.
Annie Schmidt: Yes.
[turning to Jenko]
David Schmidt: Let me tell you something, this guy was always a great trier.

21 jump street quotes