6 best pictures about Ted quotes

6 best pictures about Ted quotes

As the result of a childhood wish, John Bennett's teddy bear, Ted, came to life and has been by John's side ever since – a friendship that's tested when Lori, John's girlfriend of four years, wants more from their relationship.

A collection about movie Ted quotes,all funny quotes from movie Ted.

1.
Ted: [Finishing ringing up a customer at his check-out line] There we go. Thank you very much. Please come again. We have a lot more groceries.
[Ted turns around and sits down. He notices Tami-Lynn on the other end of the check-out counter]
Ted: Hey, uh, hey Ellen.
Ellen: Yeah?
Ted: Who's that over there?
Ellen: [Turns around to see Tami-Lynn before turning back to Ted] Oh, that's the new check-out girl. Don't know her name, seems cute.
Ted: Yeah, very cute. Do you know what I'd like to do to her? Something I call a Dirty Fozzie.
[Ted gets up on his counter and waves at Tami-Lynn, who smiles and waves back at him. They blow kisses at each other. He dry-humps the credit card machine, making her giggle. He then simulates oral sex with a Snickers bar, making her laugh further. Ted then squirts bottles of lotion on his face to simulate bukkake, causing her to stare blankly at him]
Ted: Okay, all right, so that's where we'll draw the line.

2.
John: [calling 911] This guy took my teddy bear!
[pause]
John: Hello? Hello?

3.
[from trailer]
Ted: [dressed in a suit and tie] I look stupid.
John: No, you don't, you look dapper.
Ted: John, I look like something you give to your kid when you tell 'em Grandma died.

4.
You never should have trusted me. I'm on drugs.

5.
Frank: You think you got what it takes?
Ted: I'll tell you what I got. Your wife's pussy on my breath.
Frank: Nobody's ever spoken to me like that before.
Ted: That's because their mouths were full of your wife's box.
Frank: You're hired.
Ted: Shit.

6.
[from trailer]
[thunder is heard outside]
Lori: I don't – I don't understand. I really don't. You're 35 years old and you're still scared of a little thunder?
John: I am not!
[Ted comes running into the bed]
Ted: Thunder buddies for life, right, Johnny?
John: Fucking right.
Ted: Alright, come on, let's sing the thunder song.
John: Alright.
John, Ted: [singing] When you hear the sound of thunder, / Don't you get too scared. / Just grab your thunder buddy / And say these magic words: / "Fuck you, thunder! / You can suck my dick! / You can't get me thunder / 'Cause you're just God's farts!"
[blow raspberries]